I just had the strangest movie-going experience of my life. after tricia, kristen and I ate haejongguk (beef bone soup), tricia had to go home to get ready for dance class, and kristen and I decided to go to a movie. the only english (we thought) movie that was playing any time soon was a movie called the orphanage, for which we both recalled seeing a preview. we both recalled it as being in english and definitely starring nicole kidman. it turns out we are both apparently delusional, because the movie was actually el orfanato. it was completely in spanish (with korean subtitles of course), and nicole kidman was nowhere to be found. it was, however, the scariest film I've ever seen. luckily, kristen speaks pretty fluent spanish, so she kept leaning over and translating for me. but even without the translation I would have been riveted. I know enough spanish to pick up some of the overriding ideas of the conversations, and as tricia always says, if a film is good you don't need the dialogue to get the story. I promise you, this movie is much creepier than rosemary's baby. the sound, the lighting, the camera work...it was just beautiful and horrifying at the same time. when I came out of the theater, there was still adrenaline pumping through my body. it was bizarre. afterwards I went for a walk to calm myself, and then bought running shoes.

that's been sunday so far. I spent most of saturday sleeping, after being out until about 4:30 a.m. with our co-workers. we found out on thursday that friday was celine's last day. this is typically how things are for tricia and me at work. all sorts of plans are made and things happen around us in korean, and then someone thinks to tell us in english at the last minute. it's not deliberate, they don't mean to leave us out, it just happens that way. so anyway, we all went out friday night. first we went to this huge restaurant/bar in a hotel where a filipino band was playing covers of american pop songs. twice I was dragged up to dance in front of the whole room, and the koreans kept telling me how much they loved my dancing. I'm sure it was good for comic value, anyway. there was this business man who danced around the room with his hands in the air. he was hilarious. I may have gotten video of him. then we went to a noraebang and sang for a couple of hours. it was the most fun I've had in awhile, but yeah...it took me all of saturday to recover.

in the midst of the revelry, ms. kim (our boss) urged us to renew our contracts when they expire. she's asked me before, and I keep kind of skirting the issue...I honestly don't want to. I didn't plan for this to be a long-term thing, and I still don't. I'm having fun and I really do enjoy the job, but I miss home. she kept saying how good we are and how much the children like us and that they need us to stay. "think of blayne, and robert, and ellie..." exactly the way to tug at my heartstrings. and it is good money, I can't deny that. logically, I should probably stay. but I have an apartment and a cat in new york, and friends that I miss, and I don't want to spend another holiday season away from my family...it just sucks that the only chance I've had at financial stability is across the ocean from home. I promised ms. kim I'd give her an answer tomorrow (because if I leave she has to start looking for a replacement now), and I think it's going to have to be no. I'm following my gut rather than my head. I'm not looking forward to telling her, though.

I am, however, grateful that any time I've left a place, it's been a difficult decision. I've put some roots down everywhere I've ever lived, which means that I make a habit of engaging with people and allowing my experiences to transform me, at least in small ways. but it certainly makes every decision more complicated.