I can't get over how it smells outside. spring has a very distinct smell here, much like the smell it has on our stretch of eastern parkway in brooklyn, which leads me to believe that whatever those flowers are that give off said smell are here also. it has been downright hot the past few days, but the perfect kind of hot, breezy and neither too humid nor too dry.
as much as I truly do want to roll my eyes at jonathan safran foer, I can't help but enjoy extremely loud and incredibly close nearly as much as I enjoyed everything is illuminated. against my will, I suppose I'm a fan. I take it as a good sign when I have to keep a journal and pen next to me while reading a book, and put the book down every few pages because it's triggered something I need to write down.
I may have discovered they key (for me, anyway) to moderation. before, I had a hard time curbing my drinking and smoking and junk food eating because I focused on the deprivation aspect. I was policing myself, trying to train myself to hate the consumption. it never worked. I immediately turned into a stubborn child, wanting whatever it was that I was forbidding myself to have. somehow, recently, I have stumbled upon the tactic of learning to love the absence of something in my system, rather than hating its presence. I am never going to dislike being drunk, but I can (and do) love the sharper awareness and abundance of energy that come from not being hungover. I don't hate cigarettes, but I love being able to jog for twenty minutes and not be out of breath. I don't hate ice cream or french fries, but I love how clean my body feels when I eat whole grains and raw vegetables and drink water. when the focus is on having something (the good feelings) rather than depriving yourself of something, it becomes easy to moderate. when you drink less or smoke less or eat less, you are doing so in order to get the good feelings. if I didn't have to go to work right now, I could explain it all more clearly. it isn't some huge epiphany, and it doesn't mean I'll never gain five pounds or have a hangover again, but these small shifts in thinking do make a difference, even if its a subtle one.
I have twenty days left in korea.
as much as I truly do want to roll my eyes at jonathan safran foer, I can't help but enjoy extremely loud and incredibly close nearly as much as I enjoyed everything is illuminated. against my will, I suppose I'm a fan. I take it as a good sign when I have to keep a journal and pen next to me while reading a book, and put the book down every few pages because it's triggered something I need to write down.
I may have discovered they key (for me, anyway) to moderation. before, I had a hard time curbing my drinking and smoking and junk food eating because I focused on the deprivation aspect. I was policing myself, trying to train myself to hate the consumption. it never worked. I immediately turned into a stubborn child, wanting whatever it was that I was forbidding myself to have. somehow, recently, I have stumbled upon the tactic of learning to love the absence of something in my system, rather than hating its presence. I am never going to dislike being drunk, but I can (and do) love the sharper awareness and abundance of energy that come from not being hungover. I don't hate cigarettes, but I love being able to jog for twenty minutes and not be out of breath. I don't hate ice cream or french fries, but I love how clean my body feels when I eat whole grains and raw vegetables and drink water. when the focus is on having something (the good feelings) rather than depriving yourself of something, it becomes easy to moderate. when you drink less or smoke less or eat less, you are doing so in order to get the good feelings. if I didn't have to go to work right now, I could explain it all more clearly. it isn't some huge epiphany, and it doesn't mean I'll never gain five pounds or have a hangover again, but these small shifts in thinking do make a difference, even if its a subtle one.
I have twenty days left in korea.
posted by Becca at
12:43 AM
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